Weather Changes

Weather Changes

Outside it’s sunny and warm
But inside brews a massive storm
Winds blow cold and tension rises
Gray skies slowly turn to black
Rain inside, the shell disguises
Clouds swirl and walls begin to crack
Built to protect, they now hold back

Lightning strikes as the sky explodes
Change brought on with a blinding flash
Years of drizzle are now the past
Replaced by rain in bucket loads
The storm’s fury unleashed within
A new reality begins

Trapped in this place alone
Nothing left but water and stone
I’m gonna break, need to escape
When on broken paths I stumble
I wish the walls would crumble
I can’t fall down again
Not in the state I’m in
I just need something broken
A safety valve opened
Some kind of override
I need to be slightly broken
Just to get inside
No exit means no entry
So how the fuck do I find me?

My fortress changed to a prison
And somehow I am trapped within
Outside, the weather quickly changed
Inside was always mild and gray
Now the storm grows stronger each day
Protective walls carefully built
Now constrain anger and guilt
All cloaked in a clever disguise
Invisible to passers-by

Protected from the elements
Hidden deep within my shell
I found self-development
Self healing, a quest to be well
Kung Fu taught me to fall with grace
Failures embraced, ego in check
Arrogance became self respect

On my journey much has changed
Water used to nourish the soil
Transformed by time to acid rain
Now contaminates and erodes
Smothering beauty when it grows
Flood waters rise and start to boil
Poison seeps through cracks in the wall
Dear things held close is where it falls

My life, my world, now upside down
Feeling as if I will soon drown
Things once kept out are trapped within
Flood waters rise and I must swim
Inside these walls, I’m forced to stay
They’re now reinforced the wrong way
Through growing cracks, poison now sprays
For those kept near, I am afraid

Outside, the sun no longer shines
What lies inside these walls is mine
And my responsibility
Natural weather has shifted
As weather is prone to do
My shell remains, no one can see
But fumes pollute; I must fix this
Wouldn’t you fix it too?

My fortress gave me time to grow
I could live outside now I know
Now imprisoned, I can’t just leave
This new world is hard to believe
I think to destroy this jail and me
But my thoughts are distorted
Stuck amid this toxicity
Only myself aborted
What an unreal fantasy!

Escape from this prison is truth
But the pollution inside
And the demons that hide
All would survive and roam free
Destruction is not absolute
These walls would fall without me
How many lives would that uproot?
This escape is not what I seek
Frankly, this clouded answer reeks

My armor has been made stronger
But here it won’t last much longer
I feel myself starting to sink
Of a solution, I can’t think
Lots of answers fly through my head
None are solutions in the end

I know that I can stay alive
And live for real outside this place
So for now I just survive
On faith that I will one day thrive
Once my demons have been faced

When I feel I’m being smothered
I remind myself that I’m strong
And what feels right is really wrong
If I just weather this bad storm
Wait for cold to turn into warm
Stop my pain from killing others
One day I’ll find the door and key
To escape myself and find me

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2 responses to “Weather Changes

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